Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Bebe Neuwirth Movie Reviews


Brooklyn's Completely Necessary Bebe Neuwirth Post





Tadpole

I have so much love for this movie’s ridiculousness. Let us first discuss the plot. A 15 year old boy is SO in love with his stepmother, that he sleeps with her best friend over Thanksgiving Break…because her best friend happens to be wearing her scarf and happened to pick his drunk ass up off of the street after he got mugged and took him home to give him a massage. Now let us talk about how the stepmother is played by Sigourney Weaver and the best friend is played by Bebe Neuwirth. BECAUSE THEY ARE SO VERY EASILY MISTAKEN FOR EACH OTHER. Oh my. I don’t know about you, but I, for one, KNOW that I wouldn’t be able to tell them apart if I were drunk. OF COURSE YOU WOULD. In no universe, EVER would a drunk teenage boy sleep with Bebe Neuwirth accidentally. It’d be on purpose, let’s be honest. In love with their stepmother or not, if Bebe Neuwirth was giving them a massage (which she was because this movie is THAT ridiculous) they would sleep with her.

Now onto the movie itself. Let’s talk about how Sigourney Weaver is fierce. I mean, if I weren’t talking about it everyday of my life, I don’t know what I’d be doing. I’m convinced the woman doesn’t have a real resume. She just has to go “I’m Sigourney Weaver, bitch.” And she gets cast in anything she wants. Really? She just GETS anything she wants. She’s Sigourney Weaver: Kickass Alien Doctor in every movie ever. She deserves it. She plays a scientist in this movie. Does she ever NOT play a scientist? Discuss. So there’s this scene where Oscar goes to Eve (Sigourney Weaver) in her lab, and they have this big discussion about rats and somehow livers are involved. I’ll be honest. I didn’t really watch that part. I got bored and fast-forwarded. Story of my life. BUT the heart becomes compared to the liver. It’s so… odd. It’s just odd.

ALSO: I need to take a moment to acknowledge the design team of this movie for their expert design in Diane’s (Bebe Neuwirth) bedroom and wardrobe. As if the animal print bedding wasn’t enough, the headboard also had to be animal print. OH, and the bed should be circular, right? And it’s not like she isn’t already wearing animal print at all times. WE GET IT. SHE’S A COUGAR. MOVE ON. The audience really isn’t that dumb. We probably would’ve gotten the cougar thing just because she slept with him. You know what? Maybe not. Who knows?

SO THE DINNER SCENE. There’s a dinner scene in which the boy, his father, his stepmother, and her best friend all go to dinner. It’s plagued with random moments spoken in French (Which somehow I understood? Thanks high school foreign language requirement.) And THEN Bebe (as Diane) gets up and starts making out with Oscar (the boy) for cereal. It happens. It occurs. It’s fantastic, and no one has any idea why it’s happening.

Then there’s the scene where Oscar makes out with Sigourney Weaver’s character while they are doing the dishes. BECAUSE THAT MAKES TOTAL SENSE. Dishes, man…they’re sexy. The whole scent of Dawn and all… WHAT? No one knows.
Anyway, I just spent a lot of time talking about a movie and you probably still have no idea what it’s about. Don’t worry. I’ve seen it about 6 times and I still have no idea what it’s about. But Sigourney Weaver and Bebe Neuwirth are rockstars. That’s really all you need to know.









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Say Anything

I love this movie for the sheer fact that it’s an 80s movie and I am oddly nostalgic for that decade that I wasn’t even alive in. I’m oddly bitter that I was born in the 90s. I was tempted to not even review this movie because Bebe’s in it for a total of a minute and a half, but ANYWAY. It’s worth it because this movie is oddly good. And the father goes to jail. Which, you know, just makes total sense for me to talk about. NOW.

There’s this girl, right? And she’s valedictorian and great at basically everything ever, and this boy that thinks that she’s out of his league- (Sound familiar? It’s basically the plot of every teen movie made in the past 20 years. Including Crossroads. Sorry Britney Spears…it’s true.) And of course the guy is John Cusack and he just happens to steer the girl around a broken bottle on the sidewalk after an all-night party so she thinks they’re destined to be together. Still with me? Okay. NOW there is one really funny part of this movie and it’s the fact that Jason Gould is in it. With a Mohawk. Yes, my friends- the spawn of God in the form of a singer, Barbra Streisand, has a Mohawk in Say Anything. He’s absolutely hilarious, also. He forgets where he lives. Amazing.

So the boy takes the girl to a party after they graduate, and becomes Key Master. Which is basically a really nerdy way of saying he’s responsible and takes the keys from everyone at the party to see who is too drunk to go home. WELL Bebe shows up to this party and starts asking him all of these questions about what he’s going to do with his life…there’s still at this kegger… because she’s his CAREER COUNSELOR. And then she gives him her keys. Why? WHY? In all the Earth would a career counselor go to a post-high-school-graduation rave? I didn’t even do that when I graduated high school, let alone will I do it later on in my life. BUT whatever.
John Mahoney is in this movie and is absolutely breathtaking as the father. Seriously. I’d trade my father for him anyday. Even if he did scam a bunch of old people in a nursing home. (This movie really is a tad over-the-top.) WATCH IT.

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Fame

Why isn’t this my life? Why? I want Megan Mullally to teach me how to sing. And Kelsey Grammer to teach me how to play the piano. And Bebe Neuwirth to teach me how to dance. I WANT THIS TO HAPPEN. It’s happening in my head right now. You don’t even know. This is one of those movies that makes you want to dance. All the time. Who doesn’t want to go to a school where people start break dancing on one table and tap dancing on another in the middle of the cafeteria? It’s just a good movie. I don’t care what the critics said about it. The only complaint I have is that they didn’t utilize their older cast members to their full potential. Seriously. If you have Megan Mullally in a movie, she should get to do more than sing one song. And Kelsey Grammer should get to do more than yell at one kid. And Bebe Neuwirth…she really didn’t do anything but tell one boy his dreams weren’t going to come true and he attempted suicide. Which, really, if Bebe Neuwirth told me my dreams weren’t going to come true…well let’s just say I don’t blame him for wanting to jump in front of a moving train. Bitch knows what she’s talking about. ANYWAY: Watch it just for the fact that there is amazing dancing and singing and it’s just fun.







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Liberty Heights
This movie will break your little Jewish heart. Or your little Jew-loving heart. Because let’s be honest, if you aren’t Jewish, you wish you were. At least, I wish I was. There is so much going on in this movie, and it is absolutely one of my favorite movies of all time. First of all, it’s just plain pretty. It’s absolutely gorgeous. If you only watch one movie on this list, please let it be this one. It’s about oppression that Jews faced in the 1950s, and it’s insanely amazing. Also: It’s about the mafia. Which, in my opinion, is always a good subject when it comes to movies. It makes you laugh and it makes you cry. A lot- in the best way possible. It’s one of those things that’s like a snapshot in history, and a history that no one really talks about. It’s nice. Really really nice. And it makes you wish you were part of this family. Or any family like that. And I’ll say it again..I really want to be Jewish. And this movie makes me resent my family for not being Jewish. BECAUSE IT’S SO GOOD. I’m not even going to try to make fun of it. It’s too good. Just watch it. It’ll change your entire perspective on life. Not kidding. My heart is still broken and I saw it 2 months ago. Barry Levinson can direct anything ever and I will approve. Granted, I say that based on seeing two movies (this and Bugsy) but the dude knows what the hell he is doing. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.





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The Faculty
So I saw the first ten minutes, and then I threw up. So I stopped watching. Basically Bebe dies in the first ten minutes- but it’s kind of like how Drew Barrymore died in Scream? TOTALLY DIGNIFIED. Except for the fact that this dude sticks a pencil through her hand. YES. A PENCIL. THROUGH HER HAND. And then chases her around the entire school while she screams and cries... and bleeds. It’s such a mess. She died and I couldn’t handle life. Or food apparently. If your into gore- and cheesy 1998 gore- watch it. The thing is? My older sister probably made me watch this movie when it came out…and I was 8 years old.. and I probably didn’t think anything of it at the time. BUT NOW IT FREAKS ME OUT. Okay? OKAY.
SO I was wrong. She’s apparently in the movie a lot more than the first ten minutes. HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT? SHE WAS DEAD. As in DIED. But you know? That’s okay. I’m not going to watch it. Because it’s gory.



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Celebrity
Woody Allen. Enough said. Okay the main problem that I had with this movie has nothing to do with the movie itself, but with Judy Davis. I LOVE Judy Davis. The woman is brilliant and stunning. But I can’t look at her without thinking “IVE BEEN TRYING TO BE JUDY GARLAND ALL MY LIFE.” Seriously. I’ve seen the Me and My Shadows miniseries SO MANY TIMES that I can’t possibly see Judy Davis in any other role but Judy Garland. So in my head, she kind of plays Judy Garland all the time. SO it’s Judy Davis AS Judy Garland AS whatever character she’s actually playing. So Judy Davis AS Judy Garland AS someone asking Bebe Neuwirth for sex advice? Not the best mix. BUT it was really funny. Once you get past the whole Dorothy Gale Complex thing I seem to have attached to Judy Davis…This is a good movie. In all seriousness.



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Game 6
I don’t know what any of those words mean. I don’t understand many sports. Basketball..is the extent of my knowledge into the world of sports. AND soccer. I understand soccer. Football and baseball are way over my head. Not the point. The point is that this entire movie is about sports. And a playwright…who lets his entire life happiness depend on sports and not the success of his upcoming play. I probably could’ve followed the theatre storyline. But alas, I got bored and fast forwarded. Bebe Neuwirth is in this movie for maybe five minutes- she’s really good in it though. Well…idk. It’s weird. The guy walks in. She jumps him. End of scene. Whatever- I think I would’ve liked it if I cared to understand it. Which I didn’t.




Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Meryl Streep Movie Reviews


Brooklyn's Completely Necessary Meryl Streep Post




Music of the Heart

EPIC CAST OF NECESSARY. Cloris Leachman is a paranoid grandmother who feels the need to feed everyone. Gloria Estefan randomly teaches and gets people all excited about things. LETS TALK ABOUT MERYL STREEP NOW. Girl plays a musician mother person who gets dumped by her husband and does everything but slit her wrists in the bathroom so he’ll come back, and there’s a dog in this movie? An adorable dog. And so she makes her sons play instruments until they basically are all “eff you mom, we’ll play different instruments than you” and walk away from the crazy. So then she’s all “LET US CHANGE MAH LYFE” and shacks up with some random old friend dude and moves to Harlem to teach in inner-city schools. BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT THE NORMAL PEOPLE DO? And yada yada yada she teaches childrenssss the violinsss school funding gets cut because there is clearly no respect for the arts in this country and America’s youth pays the price. AND She puts on a benefit concert in Carnegie Hall and makes an ass out of the people who cut her funding BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT ART BITCHES DO, PEEPS. They take havoc and CREATE OUT OF THAT SHIT. Total Brill=right there.

Anyway Meryl kicks conservative ass in this movie. I adore it, you should too. GIRL IS FANTASTIC. Oh, and she’s a complete bitch to children, which is..you know, ALWAYS fun to watch.





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Out of Africa

Necessary Robert Redford hotness. That’s the basic plot of this movie. I adore Meryl with all of my heart and soul, but I hate her accent in this movie. I LOVE the fact that she can DO that accent, and think she executes it better than is humanly possible, (girl’s talent is other-worldy. She’s an alien. Or a cylon. I’m calling it.) but I hate it. ALSO: I find this movie way too self-serving and boring. EXCEPT for when Redford shows up. Because hot man makes movie worth it. I actually made one of my friends in high school have a Meryl Streep Movie Marathon and neither of us had seen this movie? So we watched it. I believe it took us seven hours to watch. We would stop it every half hour and I would explain to her what was going on and it was just SO BORING. I haven’t watched it all the way through since. Just redford’s parts. Because the man invented sex appeal. Serious.





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The River Wild

David Strathairn, why don’t you stay out of my life? This is seriously like..the fifteenth movie I’ve written about that he is in. OY. But anyway- he is totally fiercetastic in this movie. I’m not going to go into crazy details about the plot, because it’s very involved but basically he and Meryl are the good guys, and Kevin Bacon and John C Reilly are the bad guys and there’s a little boy and a dog. OH and sign language runs amuck, as does smoke signals. BECAUSE WHEN DO THEY NOT? In all seriousness- Meryl almost died during the filming of this movie and that would have been the most tragic thing of my life. Now: The Gauntlet, THE GAUNTLET. It just sounds scary, doesn’t it? It’s this horrible river thingy and Meryl kicks it’s nature-y ass. Seeing this movie as a child gave me a horribly deep-rooted fear of all things Kevin Bacon..which I think is a legit fear everyone should have. Even Kyra Sedgwick. NOW: John C Reilly is adorbs and frightening in this movie. BUT MERYL is epic fierce and basically pwns everyone and everything. And it’s necessary because it shows that girls kick major ass while boys just play with guns and smoke signals.







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Postcards from the Edge

Too much love to possibly explain. REMEMBER THAT TIME I WAS OBSESSED WITH EVERYONE INVOLVED WITH THIS MOVIE? Oh ya..that was now, and every other day of my life. Let’s talk about the writing first off- Carrie Fisher is a Post- Crazy- Coke- Addict version of a Goddess. AND girl can write better than anyone else in the world. If you don’t believe me, you haven’t read Surrender The Pink. NOW: Postcards From The Edge is pretty much the best title EVAR. The script basically speaks for itself in the department of awesomesauce.:
FOR EXAMPLE:
Suzanne Vale: Do you always talk in bumper stickers?
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Doris: I was such an awful mother... what if you had a mother like Joan Crawford or Lana Turner?
Suzanne: These are the options? You, Joan or Lana?
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Suzanne: Can I ask you something personal?
Evelyn Ames: You mean asking me who I have sex with isn't personal anymore? What do you want to know, if I smoke?
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Suzanne Vale: Instant gratification takes too long.
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Suzanne: That's right, I don't want life to imitate art, I want life to be art
So basically Carrie Fisher wrote the tagline TO MY LIFE. “I don’t want life to imitate art, I want life to be art.” WAY TO BE, PRINCESS LEIA.

Now we will move on to the gloriousness that IS the director of this movie. MIKE NICHOLS. Clearly my favorite director for no other reason than HE IS EPIC AMAZING AND MADE OF WIN.
Now, the cast: THE CAST. THIS CAST. This cast. Shirley MacLaine…what are you doing with your incrediblesauce life? BECAUSE I LOVE IT. There is so much amazingness when ShirlMac plays alcoholics. REALLY? CAN’T GO WRONG.
Meryl Streep pretty much aces this movie in every sense of the word aces. Her comedic timing is completely brill and she deserves every accolade she will get for it.

Annette Bening is also in this movie for about 2.5 seconds, BECAUSE MIKE NICHOLS IS MADE OF BRILLIANCE. She smokes and doesn’t use proper grammar, but we give her the benefit of the doubt BECAUSE SHE’S ANNETTE BENING.

I need to stop talking about this coked up movie. I JUST LOVE IT SO MUCH.





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Doubt

Hello my fear of all things Catholic, NICE TO SEE YOU FOR TWO HOURS STRAIGHT. Side note: I totally snuck delicious Taco Bell into this movie because I was epic hungry. You needed to know that. Now: The movie. Amy Adams, what is your life? Amy Adams playing someone naïve and innocent… just like every other movie she’s in ever. BUT I LOVE HER HAIR SO IT’S ALL GOOD. Every time I think of this movie I start singing BLAME IT ON THE BOSSA NOVA: which is ALWAYS a good thing. Doesn’t matter where or when or how or why, that song is ALWAYS a good thing. NOW: Phillip Seymour Hoffman kills me in my soul with this movie. And I think the symbolism was a bit much- okay..we get it- the light bulb goes out….DOES IT HAVE TO HAPPEN ALL THE TIME? Oh..the weather changes…because audiences in America have to be hit over the head with a point because we are all rednecks who won’t understand complexities of plot. WHAT? Nevermind. The old woman in this movie breaks my heart from adorableness. Viola Davis deserved an oscar. Oscar voters probably just didn’t want to give the oscar to someone who doesn’t know how to wipe their nose. BUT HERE’S THE THING FOOLS: She does. SHE DOES. She was ACTING. It’s kind of a new thing and Hollywood should try it. I do love this movie because it is complex and it’s Catholic, which you know? SCARES ME. In a good way. But the ending: I can’t decide about it. Because it’s like…”okay…about what?” It makes you walk away going “Um…what just happened? What WAS that?” And it makes you think and I DO like that aspect of it. What I don’t like is that it’s so abrupt. And it kind of annoys me because I feel as though it’s obscenely pretentious, which is just kind of like “okay…we know that Meryl wanted an oscar…we get it.”







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Defending Your Life

This movie is the most ridiculously true thing that has ever not happened to me in my life. That’s really the only way to describe it. It’s all about Albert Brooks. Pretty much, it’s his love letter to the anti-life. He wrote it, directed it, starred in it and basically kicked purgatory’s drone-like life in the ass with it. SO THERE’S THIS GUY, RIGHT? And it’s totally his birthday? And he gets a CD player, because this is 1991 and way before things like the ipod existed (HOW DID PEOPLE LIVE WITH THEIR SAD LIVES?) SO he gets some CDs, and guess what, folks? GUESS WHAT? The Broadway Album is in this stack. CLEARLY THE ONLY BROADWAY ALBUM IN EXISTANCE THAT ANYONE CARES ABOUT, Barbra’s The Broadway Album. SO what does he do? He listens to it in his new convertible. Just like every gay boy and musical-theatre enthused girl has dreamt of doing since the dawn of Funny Girl, or…you know, when time really started mattering. OKAY so the guy obviously gets into a terrible car accident because he’s belting Putting It Together out of key, and dies. HE DIES LISTENING TO STREISAND. Way I want to go, right there. So then he goes to Judgment City. Which is a place where people judge people. FOR THEIR LIVES. ALSO: Everyone in Judgment City wears moo-moos. It’s a legitimate thing. MOO-MOOS. It’s a beautiful existence. And you find out humans only use 3% of their brains..which actually makes sense. So then Meryl shows up and Albert Brooks is all “I LOVES YOU.” And Meryl’s all “I LOVES YOU TOO.” And JUST when you think this movie won’t get any apeshit crazier they go to this place called “The Past Lives Pavilion.” WHO SHOWS UP TO NARRATE? Why, yes, it IS Shirley MacLaine. OF COURSE SHIRLMAC SHOWS UP. THANKS FOR THAT, LIFE. Seriously? Meryl, Moo-Moos, Streisand and ShirlMac. NOTHING BETTER.
Julia(Meryl Streep): [explaining how she died] We went to visit some friends for the weekend. Everybody wanted to go into town, but I wanted to stay at the house and go swimming. So I went outside, tripped over the chaise lounge, hit my head on the cement and rolled into the pool.
Daniel Miller(Albert Brooks): What did the East German judge give you?



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The Bridges of Madison County

BRIDGES. My favorite Meryl Movie Ever. This movie makes me want to be a housewife in a foreign land who tells people she makes iced tea and splits the atom in her spare time. FRANCESCA JOHNSON, YOU ARE MAH SOUL. There is so much love for this movie I can’t even take it. I could watch it everyday of my entire life and never get sick of a minute of it. It breaks my soul in half and stomps on it and I cry EVERY TIME. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Clint Eastwood… way to be a complete pimp in this movie. I can’t even understand how this movie isn’t in everyone’s life. I still think the ending will change, no matter how many times I watch it. It’s really just cinema in it’s purest and truest and greatest form. Which obviously takes place in rural Iowa in the 60s…because you know? What good cinema doesn’t? Part of the reason I love this movie so much is because I know that it was one of my mom's favorite movies and I know virtually nothing about my mother- but I digress. Even without the whole mother-connection thing it's a COMPLETELY FANTASTICALLY GREAT MOVIE.































THE END.

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Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Barbra Streisand Movie Reviews




Brooklyn's Completely Necessary Barbra Streisand Post





Funny Girl
Omar Sharif’s crazy red rapist eyes are totally a legit fear of mine. During the date rape scene, my blood pressure sky-rockets to the point where my mind melts from scary sauce. IT’S A TRUE MOMENT. That’s what I call it, now. The date rape scene. Seriously? Talk about peer pressure “HEY WOMAN. I’M A MAN. TIME TO SEX UP NOW.” That’s basically the scene. In case you were wondering.
I skip so many scenes in this movie it’s ridiculous. Because, let’s be honest, none of us really pay attention when the plot shifts to Arnstein’s gambling. Really? None of us pay attention if Babs isn’t belting.
I’M THE GREATEST STAR: Necessary to everyone’s existence. And seriously: It’s like a prophecy. BECAUSE SHE IS THE GREATEST STAR. EVAR. Don’t deny, she’ll smite you.
ALSO: Her nails are fierce in this movie. As evident by her love affair with them during Sadie, Sadie.
In all seriousness: Could really watch certain parts of this movie every day. And skip the rest of them. My new favorite part? (because there are so many you have to have a new one every time you watch it) is when she freaks out all dramatic like, throws herself on the kitchen table and says “I HAVEN’T SUFFERED ENOUGH.” Best moment in cinema history. As of this morning.











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Nuts
The title is totally brill, because NUTS is exactly what this movie is. Claudia Draper and I are the same person, I must let you know. The entire story- because I realize none of you have actually SEEN this movie besides me, is of Claudia Draper (Babs) being a prostitute. And she kills someone all self-defense-like. And the justice system sucks so they’re all “You’re crazy sauce bitch. INSTITUTIONALIZATION ROCKS.” And she’s all “give me a fair trial, BITCHES. Or I’ll flash you my private parts.” <- totally serious about this, folks. SO the entire movie is her “pre-trial” sort of, she is on trial to show she isn’t crazy and can handle an actual trial. BUT SHIT GOES DOWN, FOLKS. IT GOES DOWN TO THE GROUND. It’s amazing. Seriousness now. It’s intense and crazy and amazing.





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Up The Sandbox

YAY! AN ABORTION MOVIEEE. Has anyone actually SEEN an abortion movie? Because they don’t happen very much. JUST SAYING. No, this movie is actually extremely profound. It isn’t about abortion, actually. It’s about this woman right? And she has two kids and she finds out she’s pregnant and she and her husband are already struggling and basically she uses her imagination and fantasies to escape her reality. She fantasizes about her husband having affairs, fidel castro being a woman, blowing up the statue of liberty..you know? Normal, everyday, mundane stuff. Great movie. Only..no one thinks it makes sense? It really only makes sense if you have a soul…;)






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The Way We Were

Best movie of ever. I quote this movie every day. Rarely does anyone UNDERSTAND what I’m talking about when I say “Onions? Ya. In the cokes.” But they pretend to. BECAUSE IT’S JUST THAT GOOD.
There is absolutely no excuse for having not seen this movie. If you haven’t, unfriend me because WE ARE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE. Seriously- it’s on netflix watch instantly for goodness sake. And in those redboxes that are all over the place. It will change your life.

It’s so incredibly political, which is why I love it, and it’s a love story, which is why I love it, and it’s just SO GOOD. I mean, I WISH I was Katie Morosky. K-K-K-Katie, Be My C-C-C-Comrade? O-K-K-K-KAY. It’s just such a truly beautiful story. –ESPECIALLY when you take in the deleted scenes and actually realize what’s up with the story.

In all seriousness though, Robert Redford doesn’t just break my heart in the last scene of this movie, HE BREAKS MY SOUL. Ya, I said it. WHAT OF IT? My soul is broken by Robert Redford’s unbelievable acting. And Streisand- omg. Streisand in this movie is the most necessary thing of life. KAY? KAY. I think everyone think’s their a Katie, and in actuality everyone IS a Katie in a way. You just need to see this movie. Or I will quote it for you the second I meet you. It’s a true fact. I’ve done it before.
I’m naming my child Hubbell. It’s a true fact.










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Funny Lady

… I don’t get it. BUT IT HAS PRETTY PICTURES….







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Yentl
I could watch Yentl every day of my life. I don’t, because ..you know, I HAVE a life… but I could. There is so much to say about this movie. Kate and I made a handmotion to go with it. SERIOUSLY. It’s like “FEMINISM. JUDAISM. STREISAND.” How could you go wrong? YOU CAN’T. Brilliance of it- right there. There is also so much profound symbolism in this movie. LIKE THE WATER. If you don’t know the symbolism of the bodies of water in Yentl, we can’t be friends. Just kidding…but your life is lacking and you should watch the movie over and over until you figure out that Yentl crosses bodies of water at different stages in her life that get bigger and bigger to symbolize her journey. WHAT? I just told you. Oh well. This movie basically proves that women kick ass. And that Mandy Patinkin can get angry but we knew this from Evita.

Now, all movie-amazingness aside. Let’s talk about all the Streisand DID for this movie. Everything. SERIOUSLY. I can’t even list everything without my brain exploding from responsibility overload. And girl did it fiercely. In all seriousness- she pretty much showed that women can do everything men can in the film world and do it successfully. Most amazing woman of life, much? Total role model material. RIGHT THERE.









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The Prince Of Tides


Why, Nick Nolte? WHY? I’m sorry, Skye, I still don’t see his appeal. This movie however? CRAZY SAUCE NESS. It’s made for some AWESOME catchphrases over the course of my friendships with Kate and Skye. Such as “I’m going to go all Lowenstein on you for a minute.” It’s brill. Totally brill.
Streisand pretty much makes this movie. And Jason Gould is pretty much the coolest person ever. I really had no idea that he was her son until after I saw this movie- I think. ANYWAY he is pretty ace. You should check it out.
This movie is also pretty much my life. It’s abuse and in the south. HELLO CHILDHOOD. Not in the same way, however. Thank Gods. BUT The southern accents in this movie make me soo happy. Even when Nick Nolte is breaking down and crying his eyes out- his accent makes me smile a little bit on the inside.
This is one of those movies that it hurts your soul to watch more than once in a short period of time. Can’t do it. Too much pain, and too much Nolte. I don’t know why he bothers me so much in this movie. I think it might because he gets Streisand and he’s you know? Not good enough for her. On any level. Ever. BUT I DIGRESS.
This is an extremely well made movie, and it’s actually incredibly gorgeous to watch. It gets kind of 90s-pink-fuzzy-filtery at the end, but we ignore that because Streisand can do whatever she wants and we don’t question.





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The Mirror Has Two Faces
AHHHH. I love this movie. Just thinking about it makes me want to go watch it right this second. But I’ll finish writing about it first, I guess.
SO towards the first half of this movie, Barbra is supposed to be all “frumped up” and “ugly” but in all seriousness- girl is completely beautiful. I mean, I wish I could look like that but I can’t. Pierce Brosnan is in this movie and no one really knows why… but we don’t really question because he’s kind of really hot. Jeff Bridges plays a man not interested in sex…so basically no man that has ever walked the earth ever. Lauren Bacall’s in this movie playing awesome. Ya. Her character. Awesome. Should totally be a thing. Barbra’s pretty much to epic to even describe in this movie. And girl also did everything. SO you must go watch. Now.















THE END.