Brooklyn's Completely Necessary Barbra Streisand Post
Funny Girl
Omar Sharif’s crazy red rapist eyes are totally a legit fear of mine. During the date rape scene, my blood pressure sky-rockets to the point where my mind melts from scary sauce. IT’S A TRUE MOMENT. That’s what I call it, now. The date rape scene. Seriously? Talk about peer pressure “HEY WOMAN. I’M A MAN. TIME TO SEX UP NOW.” That’s basically the scene. In case you were wondering.
I skip so many scenes in this movie it’s ridiculous. Because, let’s be honest, none of us really pay attention when the plot shifts to Arnstein’s gambling. Really? None of us pay attention if Babs isn’t belting.
I’M THE GREATEST STAR: Necessary to everyone’s existence. And seriously: It’s like a prophecy. BECAUSE SHE IS THE GREATEST STAR. EVAR. Don’t deny, she’ll smite you.
ALSO: Her nails are fierce in this movie. As evident by her love affair with them during Sadie, Sadie.
In all seriousness: Could really watch certain parts of this movie every day. And skip the rest of them. My new favorite part? (because there are so many you have to have a new one every time you watch it) is when she freaks out all dramatic like, throws herself on the kitchen table and says “I HAVEN’T SUFFERED ENOUGH.” Best moment in cinema history. As of this morning.
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Nuts
The title is totally brill, because NUTS is exactly what this movie is. Claudia Draper and I are the same person, I must let you know. The entire story- because I realize none of you have actually SEEN this movie besides me, is of Claudia Draper (Babs) being a prostitute. And she kills someone all self-defense-like. And the justice system sucks so they’re all “You’re crazy sauce bitch. INSTITUTIONALIZATION ROCKS.” And she’s all “give me a fair trial, BITCHES. Or I’ll flash you my private parts.” <- totally serious about this, folks. SO the entire movie is her “pre-trial” sort of, she is on trial to show she isn’t crazy and can handle an actual trial. BUT SHIT GOES DOWN, FOLKS. IT GOES DOWN TO THE GROUND. It’s amazing. Seriousness now. It’s intense and crazy and amazing.
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Up The Sandbox
YAY! AN ABORTION MOVIEEE. Has anyone actually SEEN an abortion movie? Because they don’t happen very much. JUST SAYING. No, this movie is actually extremely profound. It isn’t about abortion, actually. It’s about this woman right? And she has two kids and she finds out she’s pregnant and she and her husband are already struggling and basically she uses her imagination and fantasies to escape her reality. She fantasizes about her husband having affairs, fidel castro being a woman, blowing up the statue of liberty..you know? Normal, everyday, mundane stuff. Great movie. Only..no one thinks it makes sense? It really only makes sense if you have a soul…;)
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The Way We Were
Best movie of ever. I quote this movie every day. Rarely does anyone UNDERSTAND what I’m talking about when I say “Onions? Ya. In the cokes.” But they pretend to. BECAUSE IT’S JUST THAT GOOD.
There is absolutely no excuse for having not seen this movie. If you haven’t, unfriend me because WE ARE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE. Seriously- it’s on netflix watch instantly for goodness sake. And in those redboxes that are all over the place. It will change your life.
It’s so incredibly political, which is why I love it, and it’s a love story, which is why I love it, and it’s just SO GOOD. I mean, I WISH I was Katie Morosky. K-K-K-Katie, Be My C-C-C-Comrade? O-K-K-K-KAY. It’s just such a truly beautiful story. –ESPECIALLY when you take in the deleted scenes and actually realize what’s up with the story.
In all seriousness though, Robert Redford doesn’t just break my heart in the last scene of this movie, HE BREAKS MY SOUL. Ya, I said it. WHAT OF IT? My soul is broken by Robert Redford’s unbelievable acting. And Streisand- omg. Streisand in this movie is the most necessary thing of life. KAY? KAY. I think everyone think’s their a Katie, and in actuality everyone IS a Katie in a way. You just need to see this movie. Or I will quote it for you the second I meet you. It’s a true fact. I’ve done it before.
I’m naming my child Hubbell. It’s a true fact.
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Funny Lady
… I don’t get it. BUT IT HAS PRETTY PICTURES….
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Yentl
I could watch Yentl every day of my life. I don’t, because ..you know, I HAVE a life… but I could. There is so much to say about this movie. Kate and I made a handmotion to go with it. SERIOUSLY. It’s like “FEMINISM. JUDAISM. STREISAND.” How could you go wrong? YOU CAN’T. Brilliance of it- right there. There is also so much profound symbolism in this movie. LIKE THE WATER. If you don’t know the symbolism of the bodies of water in Yentl, we can’t be friends. Just kidding…but your life is lacking and you should watch the movie over and over until you figure out that Yentl crosses bodies of water at different stages in her life that get bigger and bigger to symbolize her journey. WHAT? I just told you. Oh well. This movie basically proves that women kick ass. And that Mandy Patinkin can get angry but we knew this from Evita.
Now, all movie-amazingness aside. Let’s talk about all the Streisand DID for this movie. Everything. SERIOUSLY. I can’t even list everything without my brain exploding from responsibility overload. And girl did it fiercely. In all seriousness- she pretty much showed that women can do everything men can in the film world and do it successfully. Most amazing woman of life, much? Total role model material. RIGHT THERE.
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The Prince Of Tides
Why, Nick Nolte? WHY? I’m sorry, Skye, I still don’t see his appeal. This movie however? CRAZY SAUCE NESS. It’s made for some AWESOME catchphrases over the course of my friendships with Kate and Skye. Such as “I’m going to go all Lowenstein on you for a minute.” It’s brill. Totally brill.
Streisand pretty much makes this movie. And Jason Gould is pretty much the coolest person ever. I really had no idea that he was her son until after I saw this movie- I think. ANYWAY he is pretty ace. You should check it out.
This movie is also pretty much my life. It’s abuse and in the south. HELLO CHILDHOOD. Not in the same way, however. Thank Gods. BUT The southern accents in this movie make me soo happy. Even when Nick Nolte is breaking down and crying his eyes out- his accent makes me smile a little bit on the inside.
This is one of those movies that it hurts your soul to watch more than once in a short period of time. Can’t do it. Too much pain, and too much Nolte. I don’t know why he bothers me so much in this movie. I think it might because he gets Streisand and he’s you know? Not good enough for her. On any level. Ever. BUT I DIGRESS.
This is an extremely well made movie, and it’s actually incredibly gorgeous to watch. It gets kind of 90s-pink-fuzzy-filtery at the end, but we ignore that because Streisand can do whatever she wants and we don’t question.
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The Mirror Has Two Faces
AHHHH. I love this movie. Just thinking about it makes me want to go watch it right this second. But I’ll finish writing about it first, I guess.
SO towards the first half of this movie, Barbra is supposed to be all “frumped up” and “ugly” but in all seriousness- girl is completely beautiful. I mean, I wish I could look like that but I can’t. Pierce Brosnan is in this movie and no one really knows why… but we don’t really question because he’s kind of really hot. Jeff Bridges plays a man not interested in sex…so basically no man that has ever walked the earth ever. Lauren Bacall’s in this movie playing awesome. Ya. Her character. Awesome. Should totally be a thing. Barbra’s pretty much to epic to even describe in this movie. And girl also did everything. SO you must go watch. Now.
THE END.
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